Hi there,
I wanted to jump in because I can hear how frustrated you are, and I want to help get this sorted out.
First things first: Please put your wallet away. I know seeing a fee on the website is jarring (that $19.99 is for phone support on out-of-warranty units), but here on the Community Forum, help is always free. I’ve got you covered.
Let's look at the printer:
Since you mentioned the printer sat for a while, the "crinkling" paper is almost certainly a mechanical issue, not an electronic one. The good news is that since you just bought new ink, you actually installed fresh print heads, so once we get the paper moving, it should print perfectly.
Usually, when a printer sits, dust settles on the rubber rollers that pull the paper in. Instead of gripping the sheet, they slip, the paper goes in crooked, and it crinkles.
Try this before anything else:
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Flashlight check: Turn the printer OFF and look down the rear slot with a light. Make sure a pen cap or paper clip didn't fall in there.
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The clean:
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Grab a damp cotton swab (water is fine).
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Reach down into that rear slot and wipe the little grey rubber rollers you see.
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(For a detailed guide and official diagrams on exactly where to clean, check out this article: https://support.usa.canon.com/kb/s/article/ART179688)
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If you can, rotate the rollers with your finger to clean the whole surface.
Let them dry for about 10 minutes and try again.
If it still crinkles:
Since it's been a few years, the printer is likely out of warranty. If cleaning doesn't fix the feed, the gear mechanism is likely broken.
If that’s the case, don't worry—you qualify for the Canon Upgrade Program. It’s a loyalty benefit that gives you a discount on a replacement since your current one is down.
Give that cleaning a shot and let me know if it grabs the paper!
