Maybe you will like these better. I try to please! 
All with my best of class, 1.3 body the EOS 1D Mk IV. Birders favorite camera! I love this camera.
Let me take this in. 
You never thought not holding correctly or tilting or other ways of being crocked with the world would cause distortion? Really?
No, I really did'nt. I knew we could create flair distortion, in our pics, pointing our lens toward the sun, or bright light. I knew we could make our pics look wack by not framing correctly, not keeping the camera level, and not using the correct settings. I read that many lens showed distortion at the widest range, and some were better in that area than others. But the kind of distortion you speak of (barrel, pincusion, and others, etc) I thought were characteristic of a particular lens. I've read many lens reviews and never read that we could create that type distortion by using poor form.. All the reviews spoke of distortion as a shortcoming of some lens. I knew the better ones, and the Pro level lens had less, and the cheaper, and entry level lens had more, generally speaking. All the tests I've read reported distortion without speaking of any human intervention, just a failing of the lens itself. If I had known that, I would'nt have made some of the responses to you...and Bob, that I have. This info you guys have just given me today puts a whole other light on the subject. This explains alot, and answers some questions I have had in the back of my head. I learned alot today. You guys did good 
In fact I'm going to work on my shooting form, balance and placing my feet correctly, and watch my breathing when I shoot. But I can tell you now, I've never been able to hold my camera perfectly steady, least not in many years. And I could use a new pair of glasses cause I think the ones I have are a hinderince to having good manual focus in the viewfinder. But that's a whole other story. Thanks Obiwan, I learned a few things today 
@RobertTheFat wrote:
@jazzman1 wrote:
. If it succeeded, part or all of the image would be out of focus. If the distortion got to be permanent, you'd need a new camera.
Is it possible my camera could be damaged already??? How can you tell when it happens??? I guess all my pics would be wack, right???
If a heavy lens pushed down hard enough, it could pull the upper part of the lens mount out a little and/or push the lower part in a little. This could affect the focus near the upper and lower edges of the picture.If you don't see such a problem, you're probably OK. But try to keep heavy lenses from exerting such forces on the camera in the future.
Hey Bob, that's my plan You know, when I thought of the tripod quick release plate (with your help), it all came in place for me. I understand totally how to use my heavy lens now. The new Black Rapids Sling Strap I just got only came with the attachment for my lens. I had to order the attachment for my camera tripod mount. I will use the lens mount with heavy lens and the camera mount attachment for my lighter weight lens. When on a tripod, I will attach the lens ring mount for equal balnce if possible, as you suggested. Canon is surprising me with a few of their moves, I don't think wise....for a classy company wanting to be known as top notch. # 1, they did'nt include any instructions with my lens ring mount....they should have. # 2. They made me buy the ring mount as an optional acc, The ring mount should have came with the lens, afterall it's a "L". They do include the ring mount with many other of their heavy L line lens. They charge top $$ for their L line lens, and should include everything you need to use it. It's like if BMW would make power steering an optional acc. You don't expect that from a upscale, class act, Co. Even 3 rd party lens companies are including stuff like that with their lens, at lower cost. One lens line I know includes a hood with every lens. I think Canon only does that with the L line. And I had to buy a sturdy, solid, lens case. I have bought one for every lens I have except the 75-300 lll, cause I'm going to get rid of it 1st chance I get. But the soft cloth lens case Canon sent with my 24-105L and 70-300L I don't think is sifficent. They don't provide much protection. I would'nt mind even if they charged a little more to include all the acc, and probably, most Canon Customer's Loyal to the brand .....would'nt either !!!!!!! I'm gonna stick with Canon, I still like their gear best, but they are getting pretty shaky in comparison to some of the competition. If they continue on this road with loyal customers, they won't continue to be seen as a class act, as they have been in the past.
"Canon is surprising me with a few of their moves, I don't think wise....for a classy company wanting to be known as top notch."
What is "surprising" is you still have no concept of the difference between a consummer, a prosummer and a pro level lens.
All the requirements for each are different. Canon does what is best and cheapest for each.
You buy a pro level lens and than try to make it a consummer model.
"... but they are getting pretty shaky in comparison to some of the competition. If they continue on this road with loyal customers, they won't continue to be seen as a class act, as they have been in the past."
Are you serious? 
BTW, you still read way too many reviews. IMHO!
@ebiggs1 wrote:"But the kind of distortion you speak of (barrel, pincusion, and others, etc) I thought were characteristic of a particular lens. I've read many lens reviews and never read that we could create that type distortion by using poor form.. All the reviews spoke of distortion as a shortcoming of some lens. I knew the better ones, and the Pro level lens had less, and the cheaper, and entry level lens had more, generally speaking."
What in the world are you saying? None of this is true, "generally speaking." Ok, I'm wrong.
"The thing you and Bob failed to mention was the tripod quick release plate, attaching to my lens. Had you told me that, alot of stuff would have been resolved right there, cause I would've understood what you guys were telling me."
What? I said that from the beginning. No uh uh...show me where !!!!!! You looked at the strap and the camera/lens, you are telling me you could not see the only two screw holes it could possibly fit? The tripod quick release plate never came to mind till yesterday. I'm slow, so shoot me.
